change.

One year ago today:

Inbox message from Conway. Jan 12. 6:37 p.m.

"God baby, I just want to hold you and look you in the eyes at the one person that makes me the happiest person ever. I miss you so bad it hurts. I can't wait to see you, I love you so much baby."

A lot changes in a year..

That text was was one week after I found out he cheated on me the first time. I spent my whole Christmas break worrying because I didn't hear from him once. Not once, and he was my boyfriend. Breaks over and he feeds me some story about how he got his phone taken away, and made me feel guilty for being mad. A day later, I see picture of him and another girl, we will call her Fay. And her promise ring from him that cut me like a knife.

So a lot can change in a week too.

I could forget about this in one week. But I can't forget about him after three years.

How is that fair?

July 4th, 2006

What was once the greatest day of my life, now turned out to be the worst. It was the day of firsts. It was the first day that the barrier started to build, ever so slowly. I met him, Conway, and my world changed. Three years, on and off, of a long distance relationship can literally break you.

Stay tuned.

"By far the great majority of the people who go through even the severest of depression survive it, and live ever afterward at least as happily as their unaffected counterparts. Save for the awfulness of certain memories it leaves, acute depression inflicts few permanent wounds."